Before Army life I had a very narrow, albeit sympathetic view of deployment life. I felt for families missing their soldiers and yet had no clue just how much strength those families must possess. Wow! how experience does change us. War changes us.
For instance- October 8, 2010. The day my husband of 8 years got on a plane bound for the middle east. I have never hurt so much in all my life...until...
Nine days later when my daughter had her 7th birthday. Without her daddy.
It's true, with each passing day you grow a little bit stronger. A thicker skin, maybe. Slowly, you begin to meet people. In my case, some amazing people from my church helped pass the time. The Pierce family even had us over for Thanksgiving. We won't soon forget that.
Christmas was a little more difficult, but winter comes with its own distractions in Colorado. Nana and Starla visited in early December. Time flew by with Disney On Ice, Denver, and Ice Skating. The rest of the month was a slow build-up of anxiety mixed with excitement to see the kids open what Daddy ordered online and shipped to them. Christmas day was sad. Thank God for skype!
New Year's Eve brought a snow storm and the first time I ever had to be self-sufficient in bad weather. I failed miserably at that, and after totaling my Malibu, I now (and as long as we live in Colorado) have a 4wd vehicle!
February- Valentine's Day and Brandon's birthday. He sent me roses, I sent him candy and an ipod cover. We made the best of it.
March was a little easier. A visit from Taryn and Melissa was short and sweet. I love my North Carolina and Tennessee friends. They can't all afford to take off and come see us, but their support and love was felt from a distance. Also in March, I started meeting other Army wives through the FRG. Why didn't I do THAT sooner?! Live and learn, remember? These ladies are strong and beautiful and funny. They understand what I go through day to day. Priceless.
April. GUESS WHAT! Brandon called me at 3am one day to say he's coming home on R&R for two weeks! I don't think I slept much during that time period. I had been having health problems anyway, but my anxiety went sky high. Something you don't realize until you're separated from your spouse for a long time-it can be gut-churning to think about reuniting with him. The end of April was amazing, though. Well worth the wait.
May-He got to be home on Mother's Day. I was so spoiled and so happy. Then, seven months after we saw him off the first time, we had to say goodbye again. I held it together pretty well. Then Noah broke down. Leave it to my children to remind me that there is a hole in my heart the size of a grown man and yeah, that's something to cry about! After a few days things went back to normal. Noah finished up first grade with extremely good scores. On reading comprehension she scored in the 99th percentile for first graders in the country. (Had to brag!)
Summer-as we move closer to reuniting things begin to slow, but we have had a lot of fun so far. The military treats us well, and has given us free tickets to fun family activities. I'm positive there will be a marked improvement in our quality of life when Brandon gets home. He is afterall, our comedian and entertainer, a job for which he is highly qualified.
Back to the point. I sit here at the end of our very first deployment, amazed at many things. So much time has passed, which at the beginning felt like it would never end. We have come so far.
I'm in awe of the strength my two little ones have shown this year. For the first time in their lives, and without understanding why, they were without the protector of their home. Yet their smiles got me through this year. I am so unbelievably proud of them.
I am amazed at my husband. He is a person for whom change does not come easy. He decided to join the Army after 7 years at his previous job. This year he has endured so much change, and through it all he has been my soft place to land. He knows just what to say and just when I need to hear it. I love him more than the day I married him. He is truly my hero.
I am in wonder because of my God. I am forever grateful for the strength His love has supplied me. I don't know where I would be without faith. I am far from perfect, but that is okay with Him. He has been my Protector and Provider and my unwavering source of hope. He answers prayer.
Deployment is not an easy thing to deal with. It is a learning experience, a test, a personal pergatory at times. I am grateful that we had a somewhat short first go-round, and for the amenities we enjoy that people in past deployments have not. Like skype. And I am grateful for every prayer and comment and message of concern for our family. We have a great support system. And we are ALMOST done!
